First few days of a new mommy..

Hello New Mommy 🙂 🙂

So your bump is off you..the bump you have embraced and stared at for hours together…touch and felt for 9 long (or short) months is now gone. You have just popped out your baby..Hurray!!!

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Congratulations!!!

  1. On having your new baby
  2. On surviving the ordeal. It is no small deed..Oh yea, millions of women do it everyday…BUT no man does..(This could be your one liner for the rest of your life; every time there is a tiff!!)!!

SO what happens after the baby is out???

While we have tons and tons of material telling us what a lovely experience pregnancy is and the endless checklists the new mom must possess, We often ignore some small but important activities right after childbirth..

Here we are running you through a series of things you MUST remember to remember/do on your first few days post delivery…

  1. Remember to take a long look at your little one…sit back and stare at her tiny little hands and feet..How she yawns and stretches..You will find yourself smiling despite the zillion ‘important’ things you have to do..!!
  1. Remember to feel your belly…it feels very different with the bump and off it!!! You will be surprised to realise that it’s as soft as your baby’s skin!!!
  1. Most new moms are just not in the mood to dress up or look great..Never mind! It is that time of your life when you feel all emotions at once..You may be overwhelmed..Ecstatic..Irritable…tired all at once..This is probably the only time you would realise so many emotions existed in you!!!
  1. It is ok if u don’t ‘feel’ for your new born yet!

Oh yes! You are ‘the mom’ and you are supposed to ‘feel’ for the baby but a lot of us don’t fall in love at once…we grow into the new relationship…so even though you may feel indifferent towards your little one crying (babies are supposed to cry right?! So what?!) you will be the most loving mommy your baby could ever get!

  1. It is ok to be overwhelmed and confused too..!!

There is no other relationship that will take so much hardwork as being a mom does!! So you were a daughter..a sister..a wife…etc but it was all easily done coz you were dealing with adults or someone from a similar age group all the while..But this is a new game altogether!!! So be assured that you are doing the right thing.

  1. This too shall pass..

While some moms think this is the best time with their little ones coz they aren’t mobile yet so they can do whatever they want with them…cuddle them dress them up…etc; others are eager for this phase to pass and have their little ones communicating with them so they feel more human.. J Either ways it is good to remind yourself that this phase shall pass too..so make the most of it now..

I am happier than you and here is the proof!!

I was on a holiday recently when I realized the crucial role social media plays in the life of a normal person, for who any of the trending social issues are way too much to discuss and handle. The desperation to record every small or big event so that it can be ‘posted’ on a social media site sets in. Everyone aged between 15-75(or more) want to portray themselves as hot and happening.

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It has easily become one of the basic necessities in life. Not to be happy but to prove that I am happy.

Not just happy but happier than you.

To yell out to the world :

  • How I am living my dream (and yours)
  • How I have the best job/spouse/child/house
  • How I am better off than most of my ‘friends and family’

How do I ensure this?

Click. Click. Click. Every new item (clothes shoes bags car house pets vacation)with me in/with it.

Now, let us assume that we remove this necessity from our life.

Not the need to be happy, but to prove that I am happier than you.

What will change??

Yes I will click less.

I shall try to live life rather than click it for a 1000 people to ‘like’!

The moment I don’t have to prove a point, I start living. Living for myself.

I shop something because I love it (aesthetic) or I need it, not because I want to show it around. It is another story that people will eventually see it and appreciate when I use it but I buy it to use it and not because a 100 others find it trendy.

I go on a holiday to experience it. Not to click every pebble and pillar and yell out to the world that I was in the most expensive holiday destination.

I work out to be healthy and not to portray that I am 10 years younger than I actually am. Or that I am fitter than my friends.

A lot would change the moment we remove ourselves from the watchful eyes of a million other people. The moment our motive is to be happy and not to prove it..

Give it a try. Log on to your social network now! You’ll see how hard people try to prove they are happy!!

Remember happiness could mean different things to you and me. Know what makes you happy and pursue it.

P.S: If you find happiness in other’s misery, God save you!

The Bumpy Advantage!

Make hay while the sun shines

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While it is good to keep the previous post (‘The Bumpy Bliss..Time To Reflect!!”) in mind, there is no harm in taking advantage of your condition these 9 months!!!

There should be no guilt because it is through you that the little one gets all the good of the world. So you must continue to facilitate the process!!

Some important things you must not miss to do:

  1. Wake up in the middle of the night craving for the rarest of the rare flavour of your favourite ice cream and get your partner to drive you down that instant, eat it then puke it and just say..

‘Oops!! Our baby doesn’t seem to like it honey…am sorry!!’

  1. Get rid of all that you don’t like at home but is there coz your partner or family wants it there and say

‘It’s not me..I love it here you know …It’s our baby darling, she really doesn’t seem to like it…wouldn’t you do so much for our little one?!’

  1. Anytime you want to cut a queue, at the movies or the ATM, all you have to do is let out a deep sigh, put your hand on your bump and look at it longingly…and consider your job done!!!!

Now I’m sure I have provoked the sleeping devil within you…you can surely think of a lot more can’t you?!!

Go ahead do it all and let me know how much fun it was!!!!

I resolve to be unconditional, for you my baby..

Dhruv,

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Here you are, popped out of me without much notice. I did not have you till yesterday but today my whole life revolves around you. In a few years you would be independent and you would need me no more…

My parents would have put in all their effort to give me as much as they can. I will do the same for you and you will, for your baby.

The reverse does not hold true. I do not give back even a part of what my parents gave me. It is a futile effort even to try. It isn’t really cyclic.

We love giving, often more than what is necessary for those who we love and care for, more for our children than for anyone else. But it is not for nothing.

How often do we think, ‘I give you my everything, and you reciprocate with thanklessness..’

And there dies the beauty of the most beautiful…

Every time we give, we unconsciously expect. The love is no more love, it then becomes a liability.

It is important I realise that I give you all that I do, not because you ask me to. But because I want to. Not because I am forced to but because it’s natural for a parent to provide. Unconditionally.

Through you I satisfy my motherly urge. But the moment I expect that you take care of me in return, it loses its beauty.

The beauty of unconditional love.

This is one important lesson I learnt from you, my baby.

If you love, love unconditionally. If you give, give unconditionally. Be it for your friend, love or child.

Then there is no room for disappointment, no room for frustration.

Only happiness and satisfaction remains.

So Dhruv, anytime I corner you with that hopeless line ‘I brought you up with so much love and effort and look how you reciprocate…’, remind me of my resolve to be unconditional, if not to anyone else in the world but with you..

The Bumpy Bliss..Time To Reflect!!

There is more than what meets the eye!!

The real reason

The pregnancy test kit gave a strike against both the C and T?!?!

Yay!!!!!!!

You are pregnant….Awww…Congratulations!!

Despite the morning sickness, the irritability, mood swings and the many things it tags along, it still is a wonderful experience isn’t it?! (all dads-to-be, please ignore..)

Everyone showers you with attention. Your parents, your husband and in-laws pamper you like you are all that matters to them…Why, even the stranger on the road will make way for you…What a life!!

Is this for real?? What really has changed pre and post the test?? Is it you…??? How has the world remain such a beautiful place to be. Always??

Well, it would do you good to remember a few things through the months you are pregnant…

  • The reason for all this attention you get is not really you. It is your bump, the tiny little thing that is taking life in your body.
  • All the pampering is also meant for the bump!! So while you pamper the little one within you, people around you feel the need to do their bit for the little one and the only way they can do that is through you!!
  • SO the real reason for all the good that’s happening to you is not you. It’s your bump!!!

We can sense all you lovelies with those beautiful bumps….cursing us…Hold on…NO..NO!! Never lose your grace Missies!!

We’re sorry to burst your bubble but we are sure you know it deep within but choose to ignore.

Once this idea is clear in your mind then you are rooted.

So, this really is just a reminder. Now we are ready for the onward journey….

How many lives are you living??

So we think life is short, sooo much to do in soo little time.

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Apparently the mango tree in my backyard thinks the same. SO today she decides to produce all the mangoes plus some apples oranges etc. Talk about productivity and efficiency! There she was, desperately trying to be all in one…to be ‘efficient’.. I am totally oblivious of her decision to ‘be it all’ and ‘do it all’. I go to the backyard only to find her confused. There are no mangoes, let alone apples and oranges.. I am concerned. We have a small chat, which is when I realise her pursuit.. It forces me to reflect upon the idea. Am I not the mango tree sometimes?! Do I not try to be everything I fancy and in that process do I fail to deliver my purpose in life (now whatever that is!) It saddens me to wake her up to the truth, the truth that she doesn’t really have a choice. A mango tree is supposed to yield mangoes. This does not make her work any less important, for if she doesn’t produce the mangoes, who will? Yes. We need to go back to Mother Nature to know our roots, that every life has a purpose assigned. Humans are no different. Each of us born have a reason to be here. We could have different purposes at different phases of life. But at any point of time one reason is far above the rest, knowingly or unknowingly. What seems so simple may not be simple after all.. Yes I don’t want to be a doctor, lawyer and banker at the same time but I do want to be the best daughter, wife and mommy and top it with a splendid career all at once. Can I wait? No – I want everything done NOW. SO while one half of me is at work, the other half of me craves for my baby.. I cannot bite into the fact that there is a reason why many women choose one or the other. Either family or career.. You cannot have the cake and eat it too. Somehow this fact struck me hard only after I had Dhruv and decided to go back to work. I realised that I needed to get my priorities right…I cannot be both the perfect home maker and a career woman.. I cannot cook clean feed and play with my little one when am out of home 8 hours a day..which leaves me 4-5 waking hours with him..I have to choose one over the other. And for all those million women who tell me they have just the right balance, you are so lying! I needed to reflect. One Question which will help me. What is the most important thing in my life right now? Family So everything else I do should compliment it and not compete with it. If I work that should be so the family does better (not just financially but emotionally too) Hence the family woman in me clearly wins over the career woman. I work a few hours a week so I get some time off from home, to rejuvenate, so I come back home ready to take on my family (Too much of even a good thing is bad, remember?!) We all need to find our real purpose (No, I don’t mean salvation). We may have many, but one is way more important than the others, others work in realising the one… So while we may have many lives squeezed into one, at any point one is more important than the rest. So,it is normal to have many lives in one, BUT there can’t be two parallel lives. How many lives are you living??

The Million Dollar Reaction!!

The roller coaster ride could start from the day the big secret gets revealed..

And it could be similar for both him and her.

But the underlying emotion could be only 2..its either OOPS!! or WOW!!

Either way it would help to gulp down a glass of water.

GULP GULP GULP..still not okay?? gulp down another glass..

Nope..no more glasses of water..you know you can’t wash it out …:P

It’s there and there to stay.

You need to take a deep breath and embrace the moment of truth.

The WOW people

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A lot of us would have been waiting for this to happen..

Smile…yell out to the world…jump on your bed…your prayers have been answered…!!

You could take a while to come out of your dream world.

Permission granted.. 🙂

The OOPS people

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For a lot of us it could come as a total surprise (or shock rather), well, it is never as bad as you’d think..

Put your hands over your tummy and imagine a cute little being taking form in you..

Google and watch a video of the foetus taking life. And you will instantly connect..

Believe me, it is the most beautiful path you would tread in your life…if you always thought a puppy, a kitten or even a bonsai is cute…then this far beyond all that!!!

And it is up to you to make it stressful or blissful..

This could be your jackpot..you lottery ticket to happiness..!!!

You would smile eventually, then why delay?!

Breathe.

Take it as it comes and remember to record your reaction in some journal.

You may stumble upon it someday and have a hearty laugh!!!