A new mom is often overwhelmed, so much that a rash or a hiccup of the new born could give her sleepless nights.
Worry becomes her first self, first before any other thought or feelings.
I was worried to death anticipating situations before they actually came about. I fear many moms may be faced with similar situations. For instance:
- While I realised the challenge of breastfeeding, I was already worrying about weaning!
- Dhruv was only 60 days old and I was worried to death why he wasn’t trying to roll over! (Courtesy my lovely (read crazy) relatives)!
- I used to count the number of times he poops and pees like I was counting precious diamonds falling down the sky!
- While I had a good 8 months of maternity break, I was worried about leaving him and going back to work from the first month. How would he cope? (now I realise it was more of how I will cope than him!)
- I found co-sleeping the only way to get him to sleep through night, but I was already imagining him being 10 and still so-sleeping!
These are just a few…millions of things worried me then. But when I look back, it was all needless.
I failed to understand that if the miracle of child birth was so fool proof, The Divine Being could not have gone very wrong in child rearing as well, so while he has put moms, dads and relatives to take care of the new born, He knows when to time those milestones for your baby. And if they aren’t milestones then they definitely aren’t worth worrying about are they?!
Give your little one time. Let him be at his own pace. Do not rush him to be the baby you want him to be (it doesn’t work anyways!) For if you try to then frustration sets in.
He will wean, eat solids, be toilet trained, sleep by himself and finally grow up – just fine.
This is probably when you learn your Lesson no 1 of motherhood:
While the pressure of being the perfect mom bringing up a perfect child (whatever a ‘perfect child’ that means!) sets in, you may want to remind yourselves that you cannot make your baby what you want him to be. A lot of unknowns mould him. You can only try, hope and pray. You can only guide but not rule.
And for all those vain moms who think they have the perfect kids – we may have babies gifted beyond just discipline! We may have heroes in the making. Those that question,think for themselves and then decide what they want to follow.
Those that make history.
You have been gifted with a baby who is perfect for you, not for the world. For he and you will make this world perfect for you. Together.