So I have spent almost all my childhood never once using the Public Loo.
I am sure I am not alone in this. I, for certain know at least a handful of people like me.
This forms the bottom line of every small and big decision we make which includes but is not limited to the following:
While I book a hotel room for a stay:
Single bed / Twin bed – I don’t care, I can sleep on the floor if I have a mattress.
Room service – I can compromise there too; I could go to their kitchen (which I hope is not mice infected) and make my own food.
Bathroom – Does the website give a picture of the bath and the toilet? If not then can we send an inquiry asking for the same of the room we are allotted to stay? I am okay if they only have a shower and not a bath. Do they use a bathroom freshener by the way?
If I am reviewing a restaurant:
The food was good. I loved the chicken. BUT I think they need to put in atleast 10% of the cost of the food into maintaining their washroom..(I may then go into the details which I refrain here).
Visiting a friend’s place:
Like a recent ad rightly mentions, they are classy if they use a toilet freshener; all other mistakes are forgivable.
This has not changed despite living in a hostel with 400 other inmates. Now you’d think my hostel had the cleanest baths/toilets. Nope, the bathrooms were not close to clean, but I appreciate that I didn’t get used to the filth in all the 5 years being there!.
The phobia remains.
The golden rule every time I step out of home is – Drink water if and only you think you are going to die out of dehydration; I somehow pulled through that while I was pregnant as well!
In the rare case when I have to re-hydrate myself; I practice special yoga to retain the water within. It is not that I have an unusually large bladder. I’d rather go through the physical agony than the mental distress.
And then Dhruv got out of his diapers, got toilet trained. That should have come as a relief and I would have celebrated the milestone BUT his pee could come in a sari shop, a jewelers store, a crowded temple or the Indian Railways – which would result in him yelling out to me ‘Amma peeeeeeeeee coming..’ every time he wants to use the loo, followed by ‘Ooo Oooo Urrrrgent!!’.
Not good. Especially because none of the above mentioned places pay any attention to their restrooms. So even if I’d take him to a loo there, he’d rather pee in his shorts than pee there (followed by me puking)!
But pee he must. That is when I nudge daddy dear and ask him to run with the kid to the nearest relief point.
When we are unaccompanied, we close my senses and his and carry out the process.
Damn. I see all the public toilet signage mocking me saying ‘Its payback time – for all those years of looking down upon us!’
Can I get him back into diapers please?!