Phonetics – The Aa Aaaa E Eee of English..

English is a very tricky language. It may come as a surprise that I say this considering the complications in Indian languages.

So languages are very tricky. I’d rather prefer sign language!

We all think office meetings and presentations are fabulous.

Staff_meeting_(3)

So I attend one such product presentation. The presenter is a middle aged man who makes it seem like he definitely knows his stuff.

Apparently neither he nor his content seem to interest many people. Well, quite obvious in a post lunch session.

Then as part of the product presentation, he says ‘Let’s not have all this erotic information randomly placed all over the sheet’.

Eyes pop out and now he definitely has everyone’s attention. Good job! Well done!

He continues ‘How can we present all the information so erotically?’

OKAY, I thought it was a brilliant trick to grab everyone’s attention. But it clearly wasn’t. For a moment I had immense appreciation for this man for awakening all the sleeping souls.

All those uncles seated far behind, who were snoring are now wide awake desperately looking for anything close to erotic on the screen.

He gets nudged by his well-meaning colleague – this man will be his best friend for life – the one that pinched him in the middle of a meeting – stops him from further damage and corrects him – ‘you mean erratically..’   ‘Yeah! That’s what I said – erotically!’

Whispers, giggles, laughs follow.

‘e r r a t i c a l l y – erotically’.

Ahhh….and I wondered what the big deal about phonetics was!

His colleague takes him aside and explains quickly his blunder just so that he avoids the forbidden word.

He is as red as a beet. He sums up the courage to continue ‘Now that I have everyone’s attention: we may now look at the slide being presented with information just ‘randomly’ put across’ No more erotic or erratic. Safe!

He continues ‘If you look at this image of the concourse.’

A friend who just couldn’t hold the laugh within himself and realizing that this meeting is not going to be taken seriously anyways mumbles: ‘Are you sure concourse or intercourse?!’

This incident will haunt the poor man all eternity.

All for an aa and aww!!!!

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