Holy cow!

So, I buy a new car. Well it may not be a BMW or an Audi, BUT it is MY BMW/AUDI.holy cow copy

Yes it may be this meagre four-wheeled thing which is pulled by an ‘engine’ and not an animal or a man. But I have dreamt of owning it – from God knows when!

To buy it, Sabarish and I took quite the same effort that we took to find each other!

Am serious.

Our purchase was quite similar to how Indian parents hunt for the perfect match for their kids now. All Non – Indians, welcome to India!

Now that surely is a lot of effort.

If you still aren’t convinced, read on

1. We went through a lot of websites short listing our choices from our budget constraints and aesthetic expectations. Read – Our parents checked out a lot of matrimonial websites, short listing our potential partners according to our preferences about looks, education, values, ethic etc

2. We read all the reviews we could find online about the 2-3 cars we short listed. Read – They asked their entire network of friends and family around the world for what they think of the prospective bride/groom

3. We Test Drive the cars so that we get to know how it behaves. Guys now go easy on this interpretation : Just read , parents let you talk to each of the nominees for a stipulated time during which you will need to understand the chemistry you share.

4. You zero in your choice of car….and the wedding bells ring.

I  take the car out of the showroom, in the presence of my entire family and friends , with the showroom officials bursting crackers and blowing trumpets –  Much like a wedding party!

I drive the car slowly and carefully, making it awfully obvious to all my fellow drivers that it is new and just out of the showroom, thereby they are expected to keep a 3  feet distance from it. And I reach my house. Park it onto the side of the road so that I can open my garage which is longing to take in my new car.

As I open, I notice a cow walking lazily down the road (No. I don’t live in a village. I am talking about Bangalore City here.)

This is a normal scene, I ignore it with a smile. ‘GoMatha’ (Mother Cow) has come to bless my new car.

But then she decides that she is feeling itchy. I sense it. I throw my keys, push the garage door and start running towards her, almost with the intension to scratch her head for her.

My family is yelling to the cow from within the car – shooing it. She unfortunately does not seem to understand their lingo.

I hop, skip and jump only to see her gleefully itching her head on my bonnet. My car’s bonnet – yea whatever. The pain was the same.

I hit her on the back and yell at her (am too scared to pull it off, for I still maintain my life is a tad bit more valuable than my new scratched car ). She turns around wondering what the mad woman in me is upto and continues to walk lethargically (clearly not understanding my lingo again.).

And there am left with a BRAND NEW SCRATCHED CAR, cursing and yelling my lungs out to the cowherd who is nowhere in the picture.

Damn you! Couldn’t you just pee on it instead?!

Welcome to India, where the sacred cow is perhaps the only being who can have her way with almost anything in life!

Bangalore traffic musings : Autowalas and Me – Episode 1!!

So my day starts far before the sun is up…I rush my way through a bit of housework, a bit of Dhruv, a lots of this and that, throw the rest at my beloved mom in law…Hop into my car, hoping against hope that I can cover the 8kms from home to office which would normally take me 25 mins, in 12 mins. In my earnest chase, I speed off the Bangalore roads, clearing the first clogged junction, after making my intentions loud to my fellow drivers (well, we all know what we think when a lady drives. So let’s not think about their perspective when a lady tries to race against time on the road!!) All well till now. Then I climb up a flyover…oblivious that this would mean the end of my race. An auto behind me thinks am too smart, he overtakes. Fine with me as long as I can keep my speedometer rising! Then another auto thinks he is too smart and tries to overtake both of us from the left. So here we are, one big happy family of 2 autos and an Eon driving in perfect coordination like we are performing a drill at the parade!! auto vs car copy The auto in front of me can’t go any faster or the engine will throw up…the auto to my left still thinks he can push his engine to perform better… And I am honking…peep..peeeeeep…peeepppppp… After a few minutes I realize that this would go on for another 5 mins till the road gets broader… I realise it is a futile effort. I give up..take a deep breath in … pull up the window…switch on the radio and laugh with Shradha on 104FM… SO there goes another day late to work…The world is functioning just as well though..So I assume my punctuality is of little consequence to the greater beings but I shall strive to be on time tomorrow. I promise!